Failure? The possibilities do not exist… My farewell to Maggie April 16, 2013

In 1979 two amazing things happened.  Britain got its first and only female Prime Minister to date.  An event attracting global attention to our little, failing Kingdom.  The other event was a bit lower key…

My mother gave birth to me.

Something I took for granted growing up was that women can do anything.   Until I was eleven I only knew a female Prime Minister, a female monarch on the throne – there was nothing a woman couldn’t achieve in my eyes.  Then at nineteen I joined the world of industry and commerce and the ‘glass ceiling’ became an all too familiar concept to me.

Margaret Thatcher was no feminist.  She was leading the way for women’s liberation, although I wonder if she ever took time to stop and realise that for herself.  She was too busy creating a free economy, denationalising our almost-bordering-on-communist state and fighting a battle with some organisation, be it the Trade Unions, the IRA or the European Union.  She played her part in uniting too; without her, would the Berlin wall ever have fell?  She changed the shape of politics, put the ‘Great’ back in Great Britain, stole the vote of the common man from the Labour party and whether you liked her or not, she gave everyone the opportunity to better themselves.

Apart from Jim’ll Fix It (the least said about that, the better) Margaret Thatcher was the only high profile person I wrote to as a child.  When I was nine my mother managed to land herself with a parking ticket for parking in an incorrect space.  She was so distraught and I was so outraged, I penned a letter to the PM asking her to retract the ticket on the grounds of the Traffic Warden’s incompetency (or however a nine year old would write that).

She never did reply.  Her premiership was coming to an end then, so I forgive on the grounds of being far too busy and watching her own back.  On reflection, however, what I realise now is the great impact Maggie and ‘Thatcherism’ had on my childhood and shaped the person I have become today through her ideology:

You get out what you put in, you strive to achieve and you NEVER GIVE UP.

So, Margaret Thatcher, I salute you.  You were so many things; intelligent, driven, ambitious, fierce, moral, determined, focussed, successful, unswayable, female but most of all and always, to me, you were a true Lady.

Coming Back To Old Friends January 16, 2013

 

I can remember going to a Romantic Novelists’ Association (RNA) Chapter meeting in Oxford a couple of years ago when I was eagerly awaiting my first New Writers’ Scheme (NWS) report. It was summertime and reminiscent of the year I took my A-levels, desperate to know whether I’d passed or not.  I’d put so much effort into my manuscript (ms) and as I’d never written a novel before I had no idea whether I was working along the right lines. But a lovely and knowledgeable author gave me some advice that day which has stuck with me ever since.
‘Don’t be disheartened if the feedback isn’t what you’re expecting. Put your manuscript away in a drawer for six months then review it. You’ll tackle it better when you come back to it.’
As it happens I was really pleased with my feedback. Any criticism given was constructive and buoyed at how positive my NWS reader was I booked on Julie Cohen’s ‘Writing Commercial Women’s Fiction’ course. Which was where I discovered I really needed to replot the whole ms again…
My rewrite came back from the NWS last August and I was pleased to find I’d been lucky enough to have another positive reader who liked my ms and has given me some excellent advice on areas where it still needs attention. I was keen to get on with my revisions but life (namely paid work, which sadly must take precedent over writing *boo*) has been stealing my writing time and my ms has been left languishing in a wicker basket by the side of my desk for several months now.
Last week I finally sat down to start my revisions and and what do you know?  That nugget of advice was spot on. My characters quickly all jumped back into place, their personalities, their traits and as I started reading through my ms I found myself thinking, ‘he just wouldn’t behave like that!’ and ‘this scenes needs acting out not mentioning in passing by some other characters.’

 

I have felt quite downtrodden these past few months by my neglect for my writing.  I needn’t have though, because suddenly I have found that renewed vigour, that inspiration, that I-can’t-type-fast-enough-because-my-ideas-are-running-out-of-the-end-of-my-fingers feeling that you get when an idea is formulating in your head.

 

I’d like to thank my characters for being patient.  Like me, they’ve matured and I guess it’s like the old saying goes; everything comes to those who wait

Jog on… January 3, 2013

Firstly, Happy New Year!!

Secondly, I think I need to chalk 2012 up as a ‘bad blogging year’ and move on, hence the title of this post  I could go on about all my New Year’s Resolutions; how I’m going to be more dedicated to this and that and the other… but instead of wittering on, I make one promise; to blog weekly.  It’s not too much to commit to is it? We’ll see!

And what has inspired me to get on with things and stop procrastinating was a tweet from Sally Quillford (@Quillers) about #100kwords100days.  Just the ticket to start the New Year.  I’ve made it into the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s New Writers’ Scheme again so I need to knuckle down and get on with things!  I’ve got some rewrites to submit on an old project, grammar to polish up and a new idea spinning around in my head inspired by property and horse racing so it’s time I got off to a flying start!!

That said, property still rules my world along with single mummy things so expect a few rants about property prices & the struggles of parenting alone along the way.  I can wait to have your input too.

Good luck with your 2013!

Love L x

Parting is such sweet sorrow… September 14, 2012

I wanted to say something today but I didn’t know where to voice it.  I thought of writing to the people concerned but I know they’ll have a deluge of correspondence.  So what better way to say au revoir than somewhere everyone can read it?

I need to take you back to February 1999.  My first valentine’s with a proper boyfriend.  A chavvy butcher’s hand called Neil, who kept saying Hop on Baby.

‘What is this hop on baby?’ I asked him one night, my ears still thumping from the sounds of nightclub we’d just fallen out of.  ’I keep seeing it written in the dirt on the back of vans.  Where’s it come from?’

‘Chris Moyles, baby,’ he drunkenly replied.

‘Who?’

‘Chris Moyles; he used to be on the early breakfast show but he’s moved to afternoons on Radio One.  You’ve got to listen babe, he’s hilarious.’

So I did.  From that moment on I was hooked.  I’d race home from college to listen The Chris Moyles Show every afternoon.  I’d practically wet myself at John Culshaw’s impressions of Frank Bruno, shout at the radio when people called in to play Viaduct and wonder how much torture ‘Grey haired’, Producer Will, was prepared to suffer.

Me and the butcher’s hand parted company not long after that.  It was a pretty acrimonious break-up, however, I will always be grateful to him for one thing.  Introducing me to a set of friends who have been a part of my life for the past thirteen years.   And this blog might sound a bit sentimental, or over the top, but it’s true.  Chris Moyles, Dave Vitty and their team have been the soundtrack to my life for a very long time.  All the pinnacle points in my life, they’ve been there for.  Exam revision, wedding preparation, decorating in new homes… I have even been in labour listening to them.  This year has been a particular toughie and on all those horrid days when I haven’t wanted to get up and face the day, they’ve been there to hold my hand, make me laugh and for a few fleeting moments, forget my woes.

In that time they’ve all been on journeys too; whether up a mountain, a marathon breakfast show, Dave’s hilarious relationship scenarios and, bless him, awkward divorce situations, Aled’s fall-outs with his boyfriend or Dom’s ever-expanding family, I have listened avidly to their tales and Chris’ propensity to rip the proverbials out of each and every one of them.  I’ve played along with Guess the TV Theme Tune  and Car Park Catchphrase and on more than one occasion had to pull the car over because I can’t see the road for tears of laughter.

I’ve had a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach for a few weeks now.  I put on Facebook a little while ago that every time Moyles says ‘We’re going to have the best time for the next few weeks’ my eyes brim with tears. I feel like I’m trying to have an amicable break-up with my boyfriend.

And today is the day I have to say goodbye.

But, I can’t say it and I won’t say it, because I know this isn’t the end for me and Mr Moyles.  Like Ross and Rachel in Friends, we’re going on a break.  I’m going to listen to other DJ’s and other stations and wait patiently.  I’m wishing Chris, Dave, Dom, Tina, Aled the best of luck with everything they go on to do in the future because they really are like friends to me, good friends and I hope to keep track of whatever they do next.

But my finger will always be on that radio dial, casually flicking up and down the stations.  Because one day, hopefully not long from now, I’m going to hear those dulcet Yorkshire tones talking out to me.  And I know I’ll have come home again.

Back to Basics: The Building Blocks of Writing September 4, 2012

The kids are back at school, my sanity’s returned and now is the time for me to knuckle down too.  Six weeks without regular writing and I’m feeling a bit rusty.  But before I get back to letting my imagination run wild it’s time for me to learn some discipline.  Something along the same lines as my nine year old is currently learning in his first lesson of the  morning.  I’m talking about grammar and punctuation.

My New Writers’ Scheme Reader’s Report arrived over the long summer stretch and left me itching to start making changes.  It was so positive and inspiring, ‘This was a bright, sparky novel that I enjoyed reading and was always happy to come back to after a break.  The tone was light, the setting was original and the plot interesting.  I can see from your form, Lisa, that this is your second novel and I think you should be proud that you have reached such a high standard of writing with your second piece of full-length fiction.’ … ‘I want to emphasise again how high the standard of your writing is.  This book is definitely something you should be very proud of and it demonstrates a huge amount of potential.’  I was left walking on cloud nine.  But sadly it wasn’t quite of a high enough standard to be put through for a second read (suggesting it’s almost publishable) and one of the elements significantly letting me down is my grammar.

I am a child of the eighties.  A time of success, power, feminism, pop… all these things I remember.  Being taught the difference between a common and proper noun, I do not.  The only person I remember teaching me to construct words and sentences is this strange, little creature:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naDfJIwZSm0

and there was also his mate Bill the Brickie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ieDVzinpbU

As much as I can remember them, I have to say, the part of the programme that always engaged me most was the story that continued each week, usually full of drama and action which allowed my imagination to flow.  Possibly why I never really grasped the basics of grammar and punctuation and perhaps better explains why I have always written stories!

A car would be no use without its wheels so, equally, my stories are useless if no-one could understand them (although I have it on good authority, it’s not *that* bad).  So, back to the beginning I have decided to go.  Firstly, I have me with my good friend and writing oracle, Alison Maynard (http://alisonmay.wordpress.com), who has given me a crash course in subject, verb, direct and indirect and complements.  She’s also identified my propensity to over-egg-the-pudding and use ten words where one would be sufficient.  That’s going to help get my word count down!  She also gave me a very useful tip about editing grammar and punctuation; start from the end and work back.  Then I won’t be taken along by the flow of my writing and the story and might actually focus on my glaringly obvious English language errors.

When I’m writing there are so many plates spinning in the air.  Tone and pace, showing not telling, identifying with what you want your reader to understand, not to mention the basic plot, setting and character.  All these things are swirling at the forefront of my mind and exactly how I say, what I’m trying to say sometimes gets a bit lost.

Thankfully the mechanics of language I can master.  If I didn’t have the imagination, well, that would be a much bigger worry.

Now read through this again and correct the grammatical errors

 

Back to Blogging, back to moaning, back to groaning and… August 4, 2012

… back to being me.

It’s long overdue, I’ve neglected my blog for far too long and now it’s time to make a comeback.  And what better way to do it than celebrate my littlest’s birthday.  Laurence, Laurie, our little Lol; named after one of my favourite writer/poet’s, Laurie Lee, who originates from the same little corner of the world as my father, the Slad Valley.  A lot has changed in his little life, most of it in the past few months.  And as I have grown to learn to live separation, the challenges of being a single mummy and juggling extra work with the school run – all things I intend to blog about in the next few weeks – the one thing that has remained constant is the hugs and love from this little boy and his ability to make me laugh out loud on a daily basis.

Shortly after giving birth to Laurie I started writing a book.  I’ve just had my third new writer’s scheme report back from the RNA this week; ‘…I want to emphasise how high the standard of your writing is.  This book is definitely something you should be very proud of and it demonstrates a huge amount of potential.’

So it’s fair to say the boy and my writing are doing just fine and are continuing to grow from strength to strength.  So…

HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE LOL!

… and let’s just see if I can get that book published.  Then we could be having a cracking 5th birthday for him in a year’s time.

I truly hope so ) x

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE March 2, 2012

My aunt sent me this email containing a monologue by John Cleese.  I’m not sure if it is actually him but for copyright purposes, I would point out it’s not my own work.  It is, however,  very funny. Enjoy )

L x

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person

A final thought -: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.”