ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE March 2, 2012

My aunt sent me this email containing a monologue by John Cleese.  I’m not sure if it is actually him but for copyright purposes, I would point out it’s not my own work.  It is, however,  very funny. Enjoy )

L x

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person

A final thought -: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.”

For every Heroine there is a Hero… February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day xxx

To buy or not to buy that is the dilemma January 6, 2012

 

I went for a walk with our family on New Year’s Day as my construction-obsessed children wanted to look at the building site near our home where a vast quantity of new houses are going up at a frightening rate.  Flat-pack houses my dad calls them.  That’s not the only thing he’s vocal on too.  ’Where are all the children going to go who fill these houses, eh?’ he asks, ‘the schools in Cheltenham are already fit to burst…’  And when my father launches into one of these mini political broadcasts my eyes tend to take on that glistening appearance, my ears begin to fill with the sound of birdsong and whizzing cars, anything to drown out the impending conversation of doom.    But sadly, this time, he has a point.  There are several new developments going up in Cheltenham at the moment and the influx of population will have an inevitable impact on local amenities and facilities.  But before I wander too far down that path, what I can’t help wondering is who exactly are the people buying all these homes?  Because more worryingly than whether the borough council has enough manpower to empty all the extra resident’s dustbins was the huge red sign on the side of the show home screaming 5% DEPOSIT PAID.

Which made my little property-heart sink to the bottom of its wellies.

I really thought we’d gone past all of this.  There was a time – in the not-so-distant past – when first time buyers were being offered 100% mortgage on their new home plus the option of borrowing an extra 5% to cover all ‘incidentals’, like solicitors fees etc.  I suspect quite a few of the people who took up such offers are still in negative equity as I type.  And although this offer isn’t such a scam and more like a January sale (merely a way of luring people in by knocking £12,500 off a £250,000 house) it still makes me feel uncomfortable.  It feels like we’re being encouraged to buy what we perhaps can’t really afford… yet again.

There is an argument, of course, that new homes wouldn’t be being built if there wasn’t a demand for them and seeing January is traditionally a time where some of us take to re-evaluating our lives and circumstances a home-move can be on the cards in the year ahead.  Which is a good place to start-up this section of my blog…

I’ve been in the property industry for nearly a decade now.  A part-time job which I only took because I was desperate not to put my eldest son Hamish (9 today!) into childcare has become a fully-fledged obsession with property.  So much so that property was the inspiration for my fictional writing.  But it seems to me pretty pointless to be in and out of people’s homes, assisting others in finding a suitable home and not passing any knowledge and tips I’ve learnt along the way.  So in this tucked away little corner of the world-wide-web, feel free to throw your habitational queries at me in the next few months.  I’ve no conveyancing qualifications I’m afraid so nothing technical about common-law ground please!  But if you’ve had your house on the market for months and aren’t sure why it’s not selling, I might just be your girl.

And hence the title of this blog really.  Are you thinking of moving on this year?  Are you keen to get on and sort that mortgage while interest rates are still low?  Or are you scared by contradictory media reports on whether house prices are going down?  Do your circumstances mean you must move but no matter how much your estate agents promises, you still haven’t sold your home?

I would really love it if you had time to reply and tell me of any of these issues are affecting you, it will really help in discussions for future property blogs.  If, in the meantime, you’re desperate to know more about those houses around the corner from me and their ‘bargain’ deals, all is revealed here:  http://bloorhomes.com/developments/cheltenham-green/

Thank you

L x

New Years Resolutions & ‘All That’ January 2, 2012

*waves*  Hellooooo, is there anybody still there?!

I think it’s fair to say that my number one priority, the resolution to beat all resolutions, for 2012 should be to stop neglecting this little blogette of mine.  September was the last time I post, FOUR months ago!!  And I’d like to blame moving house, two of my three children having birthday’s, Christmas, the rabbit escaping its hutch… see?  No excuse.

If you’re a regular reader of my blog you’ll know September is my time for new beginnings but with my lackadaisical approach of late, I’m joining the New Year’s Resolution Club for one year only.  For the lack of writing time I’ve had recently, I’ve had plenty of thinking time and my head is bubbling with ideas for 2012 so it’s best ink pen forward.  On top of my normal writing and parenting rambles I’m adding property into the mix this year.  With nearly a decade’s a experience in Estate Agency I thought it might be time to impart a little wisdom on tips I’ve picked up on how to sell your home and other such trivia.  And in the process I hope to learn a little in the craft of non-fiction writing too.  That’s not to say that I’ve taken my eye off the I-want-to-a-published-romance-writer ball.  I may have missed my personal deadline to be sending out to agents by the end of 2011 but 2012 is a world of opportunities and  by Easter I *will* be a regular visitor at the post office counter.

So strap  yourself and get ready for the ride because this year is going to be a rollercoaster for me.  And I hope it’s one fast, long, ride of exciting opportunities for you too

L x

New Beginnings… Part Two September 5, 2011

Another September, nearly another year older… and still not published.  But I’m working on it…

 

This time last year I posted how September is my January; it’s full of new beginnings and possibilities.  It probably has something to do with my birthday looming at the end of the month but I think it’s more that going-back-to-school feeling, when my mum would buy me a brand new pair of squeaky shoes and a swishy-doo pencil tin, blank and ready to be engraved all over with the Take That symbol and ‘I love Mark Owen’.  It’s that opportunity to start over, begin again and keep on working towards my ultimate goals…

 

My ultimate goal is to one day be a published author.  But I know it’s going to take time and so I have to focus on the positive things I’ve achieved in the past year that are working towards that goal (I’m starting to sound like one of my heroines now!) and when I think back, I’ve actually come quite far.  This time last year I was eagerly anticipating going on the Cornerstone’s Writing Women’s Commercial Fiction  course and what an investment that was!  I met Julie Cohen (www.julie-cohen.com), who ran the course and what an inspiration and incredible source of knowledge she has become!  Julie’s course material opened up a whole new way of approaching writing a novel with technical knowledge I’d never even heard of.  I’d never paid attention to character arcs before, I roughly knew what my character’s motivations were but hadn’t realised how critical it is to keep them in forefront of my mind and although I’d managed to address the issue of external vs internal conflict in my first draft, it was genuinely a happy accident!  While constantly asking myself WHY?! I spent the winter months re-plotting and come February was ready to take on the enormous task of rewriting my novel.  I was working towards the Romantic Novelist’s Association New Writer’s Scheme deadline of the end of August and hit another low-point (again sounding remarkably like one of my heroine’s!) when I realised I wouldn’t have enough time to finish the manuscript.  But… when I had edited and reworked ready to submit what I had managed to produce to the scheme I realised I’d written 70,000 words in six months which actually, with a small child at home every day, I feel is actually quite an achievement J

 

Tomorrow my life begins again.  Okay that sounds like quite a dramatic statement but Laurie, my three year old, begins playgroup every weekday morning for three hours.  Three hours of solitude.  Three hours of daily, uninterrupted writing.  Pure bliss.  And who knows how much more I can achieve now?  So here’s my challenge: Get the damn thing finished, edited and polished up AND begin approaching agents before the year is out.

 

In the meantime I’m awaiting my feedback from the New Writer’s Scheme and hoping it’s not going to tell me I need to start from the beginning again!  No, this time I’m going to do it.  I’m quite tenacious when I have a deadline in sight.  But fellow twitters among me, if you see me prevaricating on there in the morning hours please, in no uncertain terms, tell me to ‘GET LOST!’

Definition of Love August 15, 2011

Saturday was a very emotional day.  Not in an unhappy way.  Conversely it was a lovely day, full of surprises.  Full of the past.

And it got me thinking about love…

 

As a romance writer I often find myself focussing on hero and heroine and the exploration of their growing love for one another; the intrigue, the passion the desire.  But not all love is like that.  On my journey to hopefully one day become an I-get-paid-for-this published writer, I’ve learnt that my writing style incorporates quite a bit of emotion and explores different types of relationships.  But occasionally, instead of exploring and thinking about the dynamics of love and the psychology of relationships, it’s good to experience emotion first hand.  And it’s an experience I will draw upon with my writing in future…

So there I was walking along in my own little world, going from office to car, off to a viewing at a rural property in the back of beyond and wondering if there was time to swing by home and grab my wellies…

“Alright Lis,”

Very few people call me ‘Lis’ these days.  It’s reserved for those I truly hold dear to me; my mother hates anyone referring to me by the abbreviated version of my name as she purposefully chose a name which couldn’t be shortened.  I looked up to see the boy I once knew, who I haven’t seen for a good decade, looking back at me through stubbled-chin but still with the same sparkly eyes and my stomach literally lurched, the way I make my heroine’s do in my novels.  Tom Duckett.  Tom was probably one of the few boys at school I didn’t have a crush on.  We were good have-a-laugh-get-each-other-in-to-trouble-fall-out-and-quickly-make-up-friends and he always had time for a chat over the seven years we spent at school together.  He had an obsession with my boobs (I was well endowed from an early age) and it was a joke which went from the innocence of 11 to the knowingness of 18 without ever being awkward.  And he’s stood there smiling at me and I desperately want to ask how he is, what’s he’s up to but suddenly I was transformed back to being the overweight (I’m about 5 stone lighter these days) 16 year old I once was and there’s this other guy from sixth form staring at me, plus these two glamorous brunettes and all I can manage is:

“It’s good to see you Tom.”

“You too,” he says with a grin which would melt a dozen hearts before I turn away and carry onto my car, tears welling in my eyes, literally kicking myself for returning to the self-conscious former-self I used to be.

And all afternoon I kept asking myself why I felt so cross, why I was so upset about not talking to a guy I haven’t seen for over a decade…

 

By five o’clock I’d kind of forgotten about my awkward encounter earlier in the afternoon and was looking forward to popping into my mum’s to see her best friend who was visiting from Devon.  There was an outside chance that one of her son’s would be there with his partner and children, again someone I probably haven’t seen for fifteen years and yet spent so much time growing-up with.  It’s probably worth pointing out at this point that I’m an only child.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a lonely existence growing up; I had a happy childhood full of horse-riding, blackberry picking and escaping with my cousins on holidays (I am sure it wasn’t quite all so rose-tinted, but you only remember the good bits, don’t you?).  But I was quite lucky that my mum’s best friend lived in our village with her three boys, Anthony, Steven and David.  There’s a line in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves where Marian says to Robin, “All I remember of you was used to steal my toys and pull my hair.”  Well that was Anthony and me.  He would cheat at Monopoly and tease me that our Headmaster had a pump in his office for beating children and I would get angry and upset with him.  But I always cared about him because he was the closest thing I ever had to a big brother.  Steven is a little bit younger than me and we would play endless games of Star Wars and watch Super Ted curled up on the sofa.  And David, being five years younger than me, I just loved to mother.  They were my surrogate brothers; we would fight and make it up and when they moved to Devon it all came to an abrupt halt.

 

So you can just imagine my shock as I walk through the door to be greeted with a big hug from Anthony, only to look through the door to the kitchen to see Steven waving back and coming at me with a big bear-hug too, closely followed by David.  Overwhelmed only just begins to describe it.  More men I haven’t seen for over a decade, whose lives’ I’ve kept-up with via snippets from my mum.  And the most touching moment was when Steven asked how my writing was going, because it means that they’re keeping-up with what I’m up to too.

2yo me on left with 4yo Anthony being non-committal about putting an arm around me! Suffice to say my hugs on Saturday were more encompassing

 

Both experiences have made me stop and think about why I care so much about people I don’t see on a regular basis, can’t easily get in touch with (I don’t have a mobile number for any of them) and possibly won’t see again for a long time now.  And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a bond.  It’s something that grows without you knowing, something you hold onto deep inside but you might not realise it on the surface.

 

To me, that’s my definition of love.

What’s yours?

 

PS.  Thank you to my lovely mum for providing a photo at such short notice!

PPS. Thomas Duckett if you happen upon this blog, leave a comment & I’ll be in touch! xx

GOING UP? The importance of the Elevator Pitch and why we all need a USP… July 22, 2011

The lift doors open, you walk in and you press the button for the third floor.  It’s only when you turn around that you notice the Managing Director of Headline is standing in the corner furtively trying to avoid eye contact with you.  This is your chance.  Your one and only chance.  You’ve got thirty seconds before the doors open again and she disappears out of your life quicker than you appeared in hers.  Your palms have gone sweaty and your mouth is drier than when you had that bought of tonsillitis back at Easter.  With strength you didn’t even know you possessed, you unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, slightly part your lips and get ready to speak the mantra you’ve been practising your entire writing career…

“Excuse me Ms Morpeth, I know this isn’t really the time or the place, but I’ve got this fantastic idea for a book.  It’s…”

…well exactly what it is escapes me for the moment but as I listened to Jane Wenham-Jones so avidly at the RNA Conference recently I realise it’s about time I came up with my own Elevator Pitch.

This is one of the fundamental hurdles I hadn’t considered when I began writing.  Once the skeleton of a plot for a novel had formed in my head it seemed an uphill struggle to plot it out properly, write it, edit it and have something that I was reasonably satisfied with enough to let anyone read.  If you’re a regular follower of my blog you’ll know that I’ve taken my first novel, ripped it to pieces,  analysed the characters and their motivations properly before starting the plotting-to-writing-to-editing process all over again, ready to submit to the Romantic Novelist’s Associaton’s (RNA) New Writers’ Scheme (NWS) again next month.

But when I attended the RNA Conference a couple of weeks ago it became apparent to me that it isn’t enough to produce a novel these days, you need – whether you have an agent, publisher, or choose to self-publish – to be prepared to promote yourself.  One term I kept hearing over and over again – which I’m more au fait with escaping from the mouths of The Apprentice candidates – is the need to have a USP.  For the more normal, less business minded amongst us, that is Unique Selling Point.  And not only does your novel need one but it would be good – in relation to the novel at least – if you had one too.  NB I don’t think the fact that you were trapeze artist in a former life is a USP unless the heroine in your book happens to be one too…

So where to begin?  After all, we’re talking here about the girl who had to cut a three page synopsis in 11pt font down to a one page synopsis in 12pt.  No mean feat, I’m telling you.  And I’m afraid if you’re reading this blog expecting some answers you may wish to stop right here, because this is where I’m throwing it over to you!  Or asking your opinion at the least…

I’m not sure how to go about taking a 100k word novel and summing it up in one sentence, but try I must.  So I guess it would be appropriate to bullet point the issues of the main heroine in my novel:

• Stay-at-home mother struggling to keep her foot on the career ladder and still put her children and husband first.
• A recently widowed father living next door who also needs his daughter’s support.
• Interfering in-laws who feel she should give up on her career aspirations
• Husband who share’s heroines desire to fulfil her career aspirations but is torn between the need to protect his mother and support his wife.

Does this even sound like a book you’d want to read?  There’s so many other sub-plots going on, weaving in and out of this main character arc, but I must remain focussed.  Even here there’s too much to play with.  So here’s some of the Elevator Pitches I’ve come up with:

1.  Stay-at-home mum Millie’s trying to get her career back on track but she’s pushing husband Tom away.  Can she get what she wants and fall in love all over again?

That’s probably too long…

 2.  A woman determined to break-away from the kitchen sink who rediscovers her love for her husband.

Edgy, but is it sufficient?

3.  Millie wants it all; a happy family and a fulfilling career.  But can she do it without pushing husband Tom away?

I’m floundering now.  So perhaps it’s time to roll-out my USP?  My novel is set in the property world.  A dynasty of Estate Agents, I hope not on the same scale as the Ewing’s but I have discovered recently that the genre of my novel is ‘Relationship Novel’ so perhaps I’m edging in that direction.  In fact – and I don’t want to sound as if I’m blowing my own trumpet here – one of the loveliest comments I received from my NWS critique last year was that the reader thought I had captured the zeitgeist as with so many property programmes on the television it’s fair to say that we are all nosy when it comes to other people’s homes.  It’s also set in Yorkshire.  So…

4.  Location, Location, Location meets Emmerdale where a young mother fights against the odds to make a name for herself in the property world.

I like this, it sounds intriguing… but does it really tell anyone what the story is about?

5.   Millie is Yorkshire’s answer to Kirstie Allsopp, but can she climb to the top of the property ladder without losing the love and support of the love-of-her-life, husband Tom?

Maybe I’m getting there?  I’m really not sure, it’s a lot harder than I thought!  So over to you please, if you have a little time and can tell me which of the five elevator pitches works for you I will be eternally grateful.  And if you can come up with one of your own, even better… *smiles sweetly, eyes full of hope*

And my USP?  Well if you asked my husband and my dad they would both say very different things, both of them not particularly complimentary, but in relation to my novel I would say it is my experience of working within the property world.  And having three children.  And trying to balance being a housewife whilst trying to maintain some sort of career.  It’s not autobiographical honest…

But if I do get a good report from the NWS scheme and begin approaching agents this autumn, I might share more of the characters with you.  Including one of my secondary heroes who bears an uncanny resemblance to Sean Bean… well who else?  And as I don’t have that much experience of A-List celebrities, I need to work on my USP there don’t you think?

 

Romance, writing & lovely cyclist’s legs… July 12, 2011

It’s my weekend version of sex, drugs and rock & roll!

If you read my blog last week about escaping to Wales then you’ll know I went to the Romantic Novelists Association conference this weekend and I can report I had the most amazing time.  But before I get down to the nitty gritty of how invaluable the sessions were and the essence of what I learnt, I have to tell you I’ve fulfilled one of my life time ambitions – LOOK!

I met Jill Mansell!

And she signed my most treasured copy!

And if you didn’t already know, Jill is my writing inspiration.  Her books distracted me through my A-levels, went on holiday with me (in a bygone era when I vaguely remember flying on a plane to a holiday destination and lying beside a pool without cries of, ‘Mummy, what are we doing now?’) and most fondly, keeping me awake in the wee small hours when I was on breastfeeding duty time and time again.  Lots of other factors led me to the point of formulating a plot for a novel but without falling in love with her heroes every-time, wanting to be like her heroines and always desperately wanting to know what happened to hero and heroine once the story ended, I certainly wouldn’t have put bum-on-seat and fingers-to-keyboard.

And what better way to start an inspiring conference than with Jill Mansell being interviewed as part of the RNA Award Winners Panel along with Louise Allen and Elizabeth Chadwick.  The session, entitled ‘How Do You Do It?’ was hosted by the very enthusiastic and entertaining, Jane Wenham-Jones who teased out the processes all three authors go through to produce their brilliant, page-turning, novels.  What struck me most is how differently all three authors approached the task of novel writing and the message I took away is that there is no formula to writing a novel, it really is down to the individual.  Part of me got ridiculously over-excited to find Jill Mansell uses post-it notes to create a time-line for her plot and characters, a similar method to what I use, although I have to give credit to Julie Cohen for that idea http://www.julie-cohen.com/blog/2010/09/17/post-it-plotting/ so it appears I’ve learnt from two masters!  But there seemed to be a common thread approach to keep in the forefront of your mind when novel writing: always keep WHY in the close at hand when dealing with characters.  WHY are they doing that?  WHY are they feeling that way?  If they go off in a direction you hadn’t expected them to then ask yourself WHY???

I went to some hilariously funny and insightful sessions over the three days I was at conference, too much of which to detail here.  But my recommendation would be to start following Liz Fielding (@lizfielding) on Twitter and her blog http://lizfielding.blogspot.com/ because I felt of all the sessions hers was the most valuable.  She spoke about Blending Humour with Emotion, a subject that I’ve seen precious little direction in before now.  Perhaps that’s because we, as writers, either have the ability to make people laugh one minute and cry the next or we don’t, I’m not sure…  I like to think I have!  But the focus seemed to be that in terms of romance, you can have humour without romance but you can’t have romance without emotion so it is vital to strike a balance.  Humour and emotion should intermingle, both heightening the other, without making it obvious or over-egged for the reader.

The main message I took away from this conference – apart from the need to network, socialise and that an RNA conference can’t successfully survive without the support of many, many bottles of Pinot Grigio – is that the publishing industry is teetering on the brink of a revolution at the moment,  one that hasn’t been seen like since the introduction of the pocket paperback by Penguin in the 1930’s.  Simon Petherick from Beautiful Books http://www.beautiful-books.co.uk/ gave a session on the Future of Publishing and it was no surprise to find that most of the audience own a Kindle.  At present 15% of BB’s turnover is digital (of which 90% comes via Kindle), however, he forecasts that will increase to 50% within 18 months.  But it’s not all bad news; Simon spoke of the rise of the independent book publisher again as the majority of people will buy ebooks, leaving the independents to charge a fair price again for a hardcopy unlike the prices driven down by competition with Supermarkets.  All weekend I found myself involved with discussion on epublishing and the liberating thought that anyone can publish this way…

But for now, my spirits lifted from catching up with old writer pals and making new ones, I shall focus on getting this bl**dy re-write into shape and off to the New Writers’ Scheme before the deadline at the end of August.  So if you don’t see me here much, you’ll know why!

L-R: Penny, Me, AJ & Debbie all glammed-up for the Gala Dinner

L x

PS – oh & the cyclists, I almost forgot!!  Well, 160 women descend on the University of Wales and what do you know?  An equal amount of men, in tight lycra, competing in some sort of cycling challenge.  What it was exactly escapes me, I was a bit too distracted by the legs… Sadly I don’t have any pics so here’s one of the lovely Richard Armitage which Kate Johnson & I were drooling over until 2am on Saturday night x

Newport, No-children & Networking… July 7, 2011

… sounds good doesn’t it?!

Yet again I’ve been a bit neglectful of my blog lately.  I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been concentrating non-stop on my writing career but if I’m honest – as many of you will well know – I’ve probably spent more time prevaricating on Twitter in between the daily grind of the school run than actually furiously typing away on my laptop. *blushes and makes mental note to try harder*

“A day off and you’re going away for a weekend all about writing?” My colleague Nick asked me incredulously last Saturday when I announced I’m heading to the Romantic Novelist’s Association conference in Newport this coming weekend.

“Yes,” I snapped back, “as much as I’m not ready to give up the day job,” (I work for an estate agent – well when I say work, it’s more like turning up at properties and having a good nose around people’s beautiful homes), “I take my writing career seriously and what you are looking at,” I demonstrated by transcending my hands up and down my body, “is Brand-Lisa!”

Nick laughed and so did I too but although I did say it tongue-in-cheek, I so want to become a fully-fledged, full-time – and dare I say it, paid – writer, that in a way it’s sort of true.

The RNA New Writers’ Scheme deadline is looming and another year’s work, reassessing, re-plotting and rewriting has been fulfilled.  Now I’m editing and re-editing (all this reviewing, I really must try harder!) before I finally submit the fruits of my labour for the past twelve months for critique.  So a jolly knees-up with all my writer pals and no-children to boot seems like a very appropriate way to reward myself.  But, I have to admit the major part of me is also very excited about the networking side of things; the opportunity to meet literary professionals and the pure bliss of spending a whole weekend with like-minded people talking about writing.  As an unpublished writer – and this does sound very Apprentice-Candidat- like so apologies – the opportunity to promote myself and learn more about the publishing industry is invaluable.  So I shall make an extra effort next week to report back to tell you who I’ve met and what I’ve learnt.

That’s if I make it back from Wales.  Rumour has it that Jill Mansell’s taking part in a panel of authors being interviewed in a Q&A session and there’s a high-possibility that I’ll be locked up for crimes against embarrassing myself in front of my favourite author… *squee*

Getting Away With It by Julie Cohen May 27, 2011

Addictive, powerful, emotional, heart-warming and sexy… you really won’t want to put it down!

Growing up in the quaint, idyllic Wiltshire village of Stoneguard was a claustrophobic experience for Liza Haven.  Especially when there was a gossipmonger on every street corner, you were under constant scrutiny from success driven – and the 20^th Century’s answer to Deborah Meaden – mother Abigail and felt you just couldn’t compete with your perfect twin, Lee.

Plus if you hate ice cream, it’s rather unfortunate to have been born into an ice-cream emporium; Ice Cream Heaven.

No wonder Liza was keen to take-off at eighteen, travel the world and build-up a fantastically successful career as stuntwoman, reaching the dizzying accolades of credits on Hollywood Blockbusters.

Twelve years on life could be perfect for Liza if she didn’t have the niggling guilt at the back of her mind that she isn’t quite pulling her weight.  Not since the ‘Horrid Christmas’ two years ago anyway.  The Christmas where Abigail announced she had the onset of Alzheimer’s and would be handing the running of Ice Cream Heaven over to Lee so Abigail could become a recluse and Liza and Lee ended up having a huge row.  Now they’re down to exchanging emails of what they’ve had for breakfast.  Not good.

So when Liza pushes the boundaries, becomes out of control and manages to crash an almost priceless Ferrari Enzo writing off the car and her career into the bargain, she finds herself back in Britain and back in the one place she’s been fighting for years to stay away from.

But Liza’s not the only one out of control.  Running the family business has taken its toll on Lee and suddenly Liza’s not the only one who wants to runaway.  And when Liza turns up at the Stoneguard School Reunion she finds herself not only covering for the absent Lee but pretending to be her perfect sister into the bargain.

Can she get away with it?  Possibly… but she hasn’t bet on Lee having a boyfriend.  The handsome, sexy, and upper-class, Will Naughton of Naughton Hall.  Someone Liza detested as a teenager.  And discovering you have dangerously strong feelings for the man who’s your sister’s boyfriend?  That’s where all the fun begins…

It sounds like a cliché but this is the best book I’ve read in a while.  It’s like romance (my favourite genre) meets action packed-thriller… okay that’s probably a bit over the top, but the plot is so pacy that you are carried along with the story and won’t want to put the book down!

I’ve read several Julie Cohen novels and what I most like about her writing is her focus on emotions; you really get to feel what the character is feeling.  She doesn’t disappoint in this novel, I could really identify with Lee’s need to escape and Liza’s past feelings of oppression and her fear of giving in and letting people into her life.  What also touched me was the theme of Alzheimer’s in this book and how this can affect not just the person suffering but everyone surrounding them.

And if a strong heroine determined to achieve isn’t enough for you, Will makes a most drool-worthy hero.

And we could all do with one of those.